It has been a while…

Oops, it’s been over 3 months since I have posted on this blog. Really, that long? I feel like I’ve blinked and suddenly the year is coming to an end.

Now, I'm not making excuses but this year in general and particularly the past 3 months have been overwhelmingly hectic between work, uni, family and friends and just life. It hasn’t all been bad, a lot of good things have come from this year – a settled career choice, enjoying time with my favorite people, figuring out the things I want in life and working towards future plans.

There was a time that things were a little rough for me with some anxiety issues (I wrote about it briefly) but for the most part it’s improving and I can appreciate the good days which outnumber the bad.

I'm not going to make any grand promises of a certain number of posts per week (I know myself well enough – I won’t stick to it…) but I will try my darndest to post more often! That is, if anyone is still reading. Are you out there? Heeeellllooo!! hehe
 

Here is my favourite We Heart It photo quote of the day (anyone else addicted to that app, i LOVE it!)

 

 

 



 

 

 

Today is not a great day...

This morning I woke up feeling very anxious. From the minute my alarm went off I instantly had that sick feeling in the pit of my stomach that comes with anxiety. I was agitated and felt a sense of dread. All day I have felt the same and at times worse to the point were I’ve felt like I'm about to have a panic attack.

 

My mind is foggy and I am struggling with basic decisions. It’s like I'm in slow motion whilst everything around me is in fast forward. I think I’ve been less than useless at work today and can’t wait to get home put some pajama’s on and try to relax.

 

As mentioned above I have felt like this before but there has always been a reason; a stressful situation, a nerve-wracking job but today that wasn’t the case. I had an amazing weekend with my Gav. We enjoyed the sunshine and beautiful weather, went to a film festival, ate delish food and enjoyed a few quiet drinks, I submitted a uni assignment yesterday that I'm really happy with and I'm feeling really inspired about my career path. I just don’t know what caused the way I'm feeling today, I havent felt stressed at all lately.

 

Do you ever have days were you feel like this for no reason? What’s your remedy for helping your mental state?

 

I'm hoping a walk to the beach followed by a bubble bath and hugs from my husband when I get home tonight are my cure!

 

 

 

 

Update

It has been 4 months since I posted anything on this blog. I feel like a lot has changed in the past 4 months, there has been more change in that short amount of time than in the past few years.

I started this blog as a way to document moments of my life and to talk about different things that interest me. It didn’t quite pan out that way, I found myself not really writing anything except recapping things I had done. I found myself trying to document moments thinking ‘I need to put this on my blog’ rather than enjoying and being in the moment. Whilst I only wrote about my life and didn’t embellish or exaggerate looking back and re reading posts it felt a little fake. There wasn’t any heart or soul in what I was writing about.

So this is my attempt at ‘Love From Jenna – Mark II’. I want to use the blog as way to express what I'm thinking and feeling. I want to post about topics that mean something to me. It won’t always be deep and meaningful; sometimes I might post about my love of coffee or post an obnoxious amount of cute animal photos.

As I have mentioned above a lot of change has happened in the past 4 months. Whilst some of the change has been large physical changes like moving most of the change I talk about is change within myself and small aspects of my life.

In March my husband Gav and I made the move into the CBD of the city we live in. That might not sound like something major but to us it was. It was something we had wanted to do for years but we hadn’t found the right place or the right time to do it (rents are high and most property’s don’t allow animals). This move has had a major impact on our lives and is really what started a lot of change for me. We love city life! We spend our time walking to the beach and harbour or strolling through the city streets, picnics in parks, visiting art galleries and watching documentaries, dinners and nights out with friends and family, lazy afternoons spent in coffee shops and just generally enjoying our city. It has opened us to a whole world of experiences.

Living the life we want has made us feel content and happy in a way we weren’t expecting. It wasn’t that we weren’t enjoying our lives before; we are just exactly where we want to be right now, living our own little dream without the societal pressure placed upon us. We choose to do things differently than the norm. We have gone from a few years ago owning a home in the suburbs, getting married and planning to really settle down and have a family to renting in the city, having fun and experiencing life in a way we didn’t in our early 20s and just doing what we feel. We have both never been happier, our marriage has never been better and it has had a profound impact on me.

I feel free. I feel more myself than ever before. I'm less fearful, I'm stronger, I'm more self-confident, I'm more independent, I’m much more willing to try new things and have new experiences, I'm a better friend, I'm more social, I'm a better wife, I'm ok with making mistakes. But most of all, I know what I want from life and the type of person I want to be and I am very content with that thought.

 “Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life.”
― Steve Jobs